Wednesday, February 24, 2010


I can't say I have always hated Hippies. But I have hated them for a very long time. I think it probably started in my pre-teen years, when I finally grasped the concept of just what a Hippy was.
Back then, I thought hippies were dirty, pot-smoking, crack-headed adulterers in need of a bath- that hated America, God and pretty much anything else they couldn't smoke or f*ck.
Years later, I am revising- nay, expanding- my opinion.

Hippies were Baby Boomers. Now, that doesn't mean that all Boomers were hippies. I know many so-called "Boomers" who were never hippies, nor did they ever want to be. In fact, I'll go so far as to say I have met some outstanding "Boomers" who worked hard, and live decent lives. But they seem to be a slim majority of the Jerkiatric generation.

What is a Jerkiatric? Well, that's someone in their fifties or older, who was too young to fight the Nazis, lived through the whole "free love" debacle of the 60s and either embraced the swinging, druggy culture, or secretly wanted to. And now they're senior citizens- and a blight on the ass of Uncle Sam.

You know the people I'm talking about- self-centered pricks that think the world revolves around them and that they're somehow entitled to whatever they want, merely because they're old. They're rude, and they look down on anyone who doesn't have gray hair. They think the rules don't apply to them. They smugly think that despite thousands of years of history before them, they know better. They're totally, hopelessly, self-centered.

When I was a kid, old people were respected, and commanded respect. Back then I didn't realize that any gray-haired person I saw had lived through the Depression, or the sacrifice imposed on Americans while the U.S. kicked Nazi Germany's ass. And I still respected them.

But the Greatest Generation begat a bunch of spoiled, whiney-ass, buttheads. The kind of jerks that draw my social security retirement money while they still "work". The assholes that won't retire, and don't do any real work while on the clock.

Take the receptionist where I work. Spends all day long on the phone, making personal calls, instead of answering the phone or greeting visitors. Actually sits with her back to the lobby. Then gets huffy because none of the rest of us will stop working to do her damned job. And every wednesday? She leaves work 15 minutes early to get her hair re-colorized. And her generation complained about Ted Turner colorizing the classics.
Then there's the bastard who stepped in front of me in line at the grocery so he could buy his powerball ticket. Completely oblivious to those around him. Just itching to cash in my social security dollars on a chance at millions. Like he'll be around long enough to do anything with that money if he wins.

And what about the Jerkiatrics driving shiney new sports cars (bought with my Social Security no less) that park in handicapped spaces, then saunter into stores without even a damn cane. People, if you can walk unassisted, handicapped parking spaces are not for you.
Even more irritating are the Jerkiatrics that ride around on the electric shopping carts stores provide. Wheeled fatties, or maybe folks too lazy to walk. If you really needed that electric assist, how the hell did you get to the store without it? Why aren't you on a hoverround?
And let's not forget all the lecherous, old man-whores buying Cialis, and Viagra... I guarantee you neither of my grandfathers would ever have admitted to having a limp wiener, or complained to their doctors they couldn't service their battleaxes. What is with these wussy Jerkiatrics? What chemicals have they imbibed in that wrecked their Johnsons and enlarged their prostates?

Best of all though, the Jerkiatrics are obsessed with money. Take my own father. All I used to hear in the 80s was how little money he made. He made a pitiful $26,000 a year. Oh, woe is me! According to  26,000 1985-dollars was the equivalent of $52,000 in 2008! That's more than I make now! And I have a wife and two kids and a mortgage. My Jerkiatric father was a single parent, renting an apartment and driving a company car. WTF did he spend all that money on?! Hookers? Drugs? Another family?

No wonder our Country is so screwed up. The Jerkiatrics voted in the likes of Jimmy Carter when they were just starting out, then Slick Willie and his wife. I'm fairly certain they also boosted Obama into the Whitehouse as well, and are now cheering on their spiritual leaders Nazi Pelosi and Granny Reid in Congress. They are so quick to demand more freebies from the government- failing to realize that the medicare they take away from the surviving Greatest Generation members won't be there for them in 10 or 20 years.
I'd at least have the consolation of dancing on all the Jerkiatric graves in another 10 or 20 years... except to support the swinging, entitlement lifestyle of the Jerkiatrics, I'll have to work until I'm about to be buried. I won't get those double-dipping, luxury years of idle singles-lifestyle so many of them enjoy today. Especially since they elect their socialist buddies into Office and our country is on the fast track to becoming a third world nation.
Damn Hippies.



hetyd4580 said...

Interesting blog, Troglodad, but it’s missing an important part of the equation: Generation Jones (between the Boomers and Generation X). When looking at hippies, it is important to distinguish between Boomers and Jonesers.

Google Generation Jones, and you’ll see it’s gotten lots of media attention, and many top commentators from many top publications and networks (Washington Post, Time magazine, NBC, Newsweek, ABC, etc.) now specifically use this term. In fact, the Associated Press' annual Trend Report chose the Rise of Generation Jones as the #1 trend of 2009. Here's a page with a good overview of recent media interest in GenJones:

It is important to distinguish between the post-WWII demographic boom in births vs. the cultural generations born during that era. Generations are a function of the common formative experiences of its members, not the fertility rates of its parents. And most analysts now see generations as getting shorter (usually 10-15 years now), partly because of the acceleration of culture. Many experts now believe it breaks down more or less this way:

DEMOGRAPHIC boom in babies: 1946-1964
Baby Boom GENERATION: 1942-1953
Generation Jones: 1954-1965
Generation X: 1966-1978
Generation Y/Millennials: 1979-1993

Troglodad said...

Interesting points, but the 40-somethings don't seem to me (here in the midwest) to have the same Me-centered, gimme, gimme, gimme mindset that those in their mid to late fifties and sixties do.

And if Bill Clinton and Hellary aren't Hippy-wannabes, I don't know who is...

Troglodad said...

Hetyd... your EXACT comment appears on a buttload of pages. Are you a robot? Cause as much as I hate Hippies, I hate robots more... (Except for Lost in Space's B-9; he's my hero!)

Troglodad said...

Yikes, the phrase "but it’s missing an important part of the equation: Generation Jones" appears 284 times on the Web, per Google.

Now THAT is some commenting hetyd!