Thursday, May 27, 2010

So, awhile back, we got a dog. An albino, Border-Aussie mix from the shelter. She's on the hyper side, loves to play, and is VERY territorial of her yard. Barks at the birds. Barks at the dogs across the street, barks at the dog behind us, barks at the dog next to us. But hey, she's a dog, and they do that.

Today, came home and saw my neighbor- the one non-dog owner now- scraping white stuff off his driveway. Seems that when his soft water filter got changed, the dummies changing it spilled the old filter contents down the driveway, and didn't bother to clean it up. It solidified.

Now, normally, I keep to myself and don't talk to the neighbors all that much. But this guy is pretty old, so I offered him the use of my pressure washer to get the stuff off. He declined, saying that the coming storm should do it. Oh, and could he ask me something.

So this guy comes over and wants to know if I noticed our dog barks. As soon as we put her out in the morning, she runs around and barks.

I pointed out she hates birds, and the damn stray cat that comes by- the same cat I have a suspicion the neighbor feeds, but I didn't point that out.

Neighbor proceeds to tell me that if we were interested in getting a collar to uiet the dog, he'd pay for it.

Excuse me?

Did he tell that to the people across the street, with three barking dogs? Did he tell that to my other neighbor, who's dog barks all the time, who used to have 3 other dogs that barked all the time, and who works for my elderly neighbor? For that matter, did he tell that to the guy on the other side of him, who's dog barks across elderly neighbor's yard, at my dog, as though they are having a conversation?

Moreover, was it really the best time to bring this up when I was trying to be neighborly by offering use of a power tool?

Hey, neighbor, I was considering a collar to quiet some of the barking. But on second thought, I pass. Are you going to collar the constant parade of your relatives, your car-door-slamming relatives that come by every weekend, disturbing my peace and quiet? Are you going to stop feeding that damn stray cat, so I won't have to keep digging cat shit out of my wife's flowers? Are you going to pay for the damage to my fence from the idiot lawn care people that regularly mow your yard and ram into my fence while doing so? The same idiots that apparently think it's cool to trim tree branches on your side of the fence, then throw the clippings over into my yard?

Oh, well, this story has a partial happy ending. I found out, after Mr. Helpful's offer, that my dog finally lived up to the reason I agreed with the wife and kids to get a dog. She killed a varmint. That's right, I found a little bunny carcass by her food bowl. Seeing as how rabbits killed a tree I planted last year by nibbling on it, I am super pleased with my purchase.

Bark all you want, doggy. You've earned it.

THOR'S DAY RANT: Stars and Stripes FOREVER!

Nothing burns my ass more than hearing stories like this one- where a couple in Wisconsin are beign told by some pinko-commie property owner they can't fly the American Flag in the window of their apartment.
All these mexicrims that sneak across our border and dodge paying their fair share of taxes are congratulated and protected on flying the Mexican flag on Stinko De Mayo, but the official flag of the United States isn't appropriate to be flown in the United States?
That's complete and utter bullshit.
Charlie Price gave up 8 years of freedom to ensure that American CITIZENS get to have their freedom.
I'm a veteran myself, and I feel the Prices' pain. In fact, I'm putting my flag up on my door tonight in their honor. I'm also going to adorn every window I can with an American flag. I was just planning on sitting at home this Memorial Day weekend, grilling and relaxing and remembering my fallen comrades who don't get to grill and relax, but now I may just have to travel around town, waving the Red, White and Blue in the face of all you liberal communistas that have forced your Marxist hatred of freedom into every corner of this Nation.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

"Artificial Life", My Ass

So now we have some arrogant scientists who think they have artificially created life:

"The researchers constructed a bacterium's "genetic software" and transplanted it into a host cell. "

And where, pray tell, did the host cell come from? Did they mix it up from their junior science kits? No. They used a pre-existing cell, overwrote it's DNA with something else.

They didn't create shit. They changed something.

If I glue fur to a pig, and put a dog collar on it, have I created the first synthetic dog?

What if I hollow out a coconut and fill it with mashed potatoes? Is that an artificial potato?

Their "artificial life" is no more groundbreaking than a boob job.

Why does this make me angry? Because so many scientists these days spout out nonsense and expect us ignorant peasants to believe it unconditionally. They're worse than tele-evengelists. Science is supposed to be it's own truth- not a bending of the facts to suit someone's ulterior motives.

The Church of Science has gotten way too far out of hand. Hell, even the Mythbusters think of themselves as all-powerful "scientists". Okay, maybe not all of them, but try reading Adam Savage's Twitter feed sometime. Adam, you have a great show, and I truly, honestly, from the bottom of my heart thank you for helping the Star Wars movie franchise continue along, but, dude. You're not a scientist. If blowing sh*t up and talking about it makes you a scientist, then I'm f*cking Albert Einstein. See, me and firecrackers, we did some heinous, dangerous sh*t when I was a kid. Trust me on this. (I know- firecrackers don't compare to C4 obliterating concrete mixers, but you have a whole production company and experts helping you. I was a frickin' kid and engineered my own experiments with the sole help of me, myself and I.)

But I digress.

My point is, science shouldn't be treated like some secret club. Nor should scientists arrogantly think you have to have credentials to understand anything. Scientists shouldn't think they are better, and then lie to us ignorant rubes to make themselves more God-like. And that's just what these pricks have done in Maryland. Lied about what they've done. They didn't create, they changed. The whole thing is disingenuous.

Fellas, until you can mix up a living creature, completely from scratch, you haven't created artificial sh*t. Go back to trying to clone Mammoths, so I can have me some Fred Flintstone-sized steaks, you pompous asses.

Monday, May 10, 2010


If you haven't seen Iron Man 2 yet, I'm here to tell you- you're missing an awesome flick.
To be fair, let me begin with revealing I'm an Iron Man fanboy from way back. I still have my comics from 1980s. Tony Stark wasn't my favorite hero, but I enjoyed the comics enough that when I thinned out the herd, Ironman was one of a few titles I couldn't bear to part with.

I loved the first Iron Man movie- despite the fact I generally despise origin movies, as they take away valuable ass-kicking time and replace it with talking, drama and the like as the reluctant hero comes to grips with their new powers. Still, Jon Favreau totally gets what a comic book is. Watching Iron Man was no different from reading a comic. Not too much yakkity yak, enough action to keep you watching. It was a brilliant movie. Well, except for Tony Stark's "sleepover" with a certain leggy, blond reporter. That was a bit much for my kids to see.
Iron Man 2 is way better. First off, no visualizations of adultery. Sure, there were Iron girls in skimpy outfits at the Stark Expo. Yes, the Black Widow changes her clothes in the back of car, revealing black (what else) bra. But no missing pants, no groping. Hopefully, I've shielded (pun intended) my kids enough that Tony Stark's little jokes were over their head and they see him more as a drunken philanthropist than degenerate philanderer.
So, dad-approved, kid-safe.
But how is the movie?
It's not shakespeare in a tin can. You aren't going to get long, Quentin Tarantino-esque dialogues. This isn't a movie about interpersonal relationships. It's a movie about guys in armored exoskeletons kicking ass. And it delivers!
Oh, sure, they could have squeezed in a bit more action. Hard Boiled (1992) shows that a movie can have almost nothing but action. But Iron Man 2 delivers so much iron-clad, repulsor-blasting ass whuppery no one should be disapointed.
Iron Man has more than one suit of armor. His lab is straight out of the comic book- complete with older armors hanging in the background. Happy finally gets to do some fighting, instead of standing quietly in the background like an Alfred Hitchcock cameo. But best of all, War Machine shows us what the Iron Man technology could really do in the right hands.
Seriously, anybody who likes the first Iron Man better must not like action movies. Or is a perve. Iron Man 2 is so incredible. I can't wait for Iron Man 3 to be in the can!
'Nuff Said!

Sunday, May 02, 2010

Dishonesty in Political Mailings?

so I checked my mail yesterday and there was this flyer for Ron Grooms, a Republican candidate running for State Senator. I kind of remembered the name, but that was about it. Who was this guy.
Well, according to "Mayor" Dale Orem, he's great. Oh, and "Mayor" Regina Overton thinks he's swell too. And "Sheriff" Randy Hubbard likes him as well. Oh, and so does "joe Theobald".
First off, where's Joe's title? Who the hell is Joe Theobald? A Google search shows he once ran for State Rep- guess that's why he didn't get to use a title. He never earned one.
And that's my gripe- Dale Orem was once a mayor, but not anymore. I know that, because I used to live in Jeffersonville, where he was the Mayor. But what about some of the other folks getting this flyer? Do they know he's a FORMER Mayor? And Ms. Overton- isn't she the FORMER Mayor? I therefore assume Mr. Hubbard is the FORMER Sheriff.
It really irritates me how people use titles like this. It'd be different if someone retired from a position- military folks do that all the time. But just because you served one or two terms in a public position, why do you get to use the title over and over? And if Ron Grooms wants us to believe he's a swell guy, why is he listing folks who didn't get re-elected? What is their standing that makes them such good references? Are we supposed to know about their political history? If so, why give them these titles?
I think the whole thing is dishonest. Like actors pretending to be doctors in TV commercials, hawking medicines. Mr. Grooms, it's all fine and dandy that former-Mayor Dale Orem loves you, but what does the current Mayor think? I'd be much more interested in that. I mean, there are tons of former mayors in our region- anybody running for office is bound to be able to get an endorsement from one of them. You're coming across to me as being a little too desperate to get a qualified reference.
And that doesn't inspire confidence.
So let's look at your website. Ah. You run a business and were on the Jeffersonville Town Council for 13 years. That's much more interesting to me than a bunch of former politicos endorsements. And I see that you're for: Full Day Kindergarten, building an East-end Bridge, Capping property taxes and increasing funds for schools. That would also be great information to put on your flyer.
But I have to take offense at your flier's slogan of "The Leader Our Leaders Trust" and "He's the one our leaders can turn to for advice and leadership." That's not what your website says- it's all about your experience.
See, I don't think a State Senator is a leader of anything. It's a representative. I'm not voting for you to think for me- I'd be voting for you to represent me in the State Senate. To work for me and do what I would want you to do. Leader? Leader of what? A Conga-line during voting sessions?
If you can't get the job function straight (representation) than I surely don't want to vote for you. I think you're in this for you. So for the rest of your life you can go around introducing yourself as "Senator". I title that arrogant.