So, awhile back, we got a dog. An albino, Border-Aussie mix from the shelter. She's on the hyper side, loves to play, and is VERY territorial of her yard. Barks at the birds. Barks at the dogs across the street, barks at the dog behind us, barks at the dog next to us. But hey, she's a dog, and they do that.

Today, came home and saw my neighbor- the one non-dog owner now- scraping white stuff off his driveway. Seems that when his soft water filter got changed, the dummies changing it spilled the old filter contents down the driveway, and didn't bother to clean it up. It solidified.

Now, normally, I keep to myself and don't talk to the neighbors all that much. But this guy is pretty old, so I offered him the use of my pressure washer to get the stuff off. He declined, saying that the coming storm should do it. Oh, and could he ask me something.

So this guy comes over and wants to know if I noticed our dog barks. As soon as we put her out in the morning, she runs around and barks.

I pointed out she hates birds, and the damn stray cat that comes by- the same cat I have a suspicion the neighbor feeds, but I didn't point that out.

Neighbor proceeds to tell me that if we were interested in getting a collar to uiet the dog, he'd pay for it.

Excuse me?

Did he tell that to the people across the street, with three barking dogs? Did he tell that to my other neighbor, who's dog barks all the time, who used to have 3 other dogs that barked all the time, and who works for my elderly neighbor? For that matter, did he tell that to the guy on the other side of him, who's dog barks across elderly neighbor's yard, at my dog, as though they are having a conversation?

Moreover, was it really the best time to bring this up when I was trying to be neighborly by offering use of a power tool?

Hey, neighbor, I was considering a collar to quiet some of the barking. But on second thought, I pass. Are you going to collar the constant parade of your relatives, your car-door-slamming relatives that come by every weekend, disturbing my peace and quiet? Are you going to stop feeding that damn stray cat, so I won't have to keep digging cat shit out of my wife's flowers? Are you going to pay for the damage to my fence from the idiot lawn care people that regularly mow your yard and ram into my fence while doing so? The same idiots that apparently think it's cool to trim tree branches on your side of the fence, then throw the clippings over into my yard?

Oh, well, this story has a partial happy ending. I found out, after Mr. Helpful's offer, that my dog finally lived up to the reason I agreed with the wife and kids to get a dog. She killed a varmint. That's right, I found a little bunny carcass by her food bowl. Seeing as how rabbits killed a tree I planted last year by nibbling on it, I am super pleased with my purchase.

Bark all you want, doggy. You've earned it.