Tuesday, January 05, 2010

GSCE Candidate: James T. Kirk (2009)

It's 2010, the Year We Make Contact. That means Scifi needs to get over the Mayan 2012 doomsday "prophecy", post-apocalyptic craze, and embrace space travel. And what better way to celebrate Scifi's outer space roots than by deciding who is the Greatest Starship Captain Ever?
James T. Kirk  (Chris Pine) Star Trek (2009)
Captain Skills: 3
In the original series universe, James T. Kirk grew up with a Starfleet dad, went to the academy, excelled at his courses and worked his way rapidly through the ranks. In the new alternate reality universe, Chris Pine's Kirk was a fatherless, juvenile delinquent, who spent years when he should have been in the Academy wracking up a criminal record. When he finally goes to the Academy, Kirk shows his intelligence and is a top student. But instead of learning through experience, he gains his captaincy of the Enterprise through bad-assery and saving the Earth. Without the experiences he should have had, Kirk simply hasn't learned the finer skills he will need.
Personal Combat Skills: 5
Put him in an alternate universe with no dad, and Jim Kirk just has even more to prove and is quicker to unleash his fists of fury. Like his Original Series counterpart, Kirk is a master of Whoopassery, but now also possesses a I-don't-give-a-shit, Punisher like mentality. He's dangerous, and maybe a little nuts. Childhood an do that to you.
Starship Combat Skills: 3.5
Again, without the years of experience he should have learned from previous postings to Starfleet vessels, the new Jim Kirk is still a little green. Then again, his deathwish bravado might help him in space as well as in a bar fight. Of course, this does not bode well for the Enterprise...
Ladies Man: 4
Some would say that Kirk's hedonistic, heathen ways are a weakness. That anytime he sees a shapely alien tail all his reason goes right out the window. That's why he has a Vulcan for a wingman. To make sure he doesn't do something overly stupid. We can only assume that the alternate universe Kirk will be as skirt chasing as his TOS self. At least, we hope he is.
Crew: 4
Okay, the only thing keeping Kirk from having a 5 here are those damned red shirts. How can anyone choose Scotty, Spock, McCoy and Uhura as his crew then turn around and pick the Marx brothers for security? Oops. Wait, the new Kirk didn't get to pick anything other than his first officer. Well, he's still stuck with a bunch of suicidal whack jobs in red. Maybe in a sequel he can change that...
Coolness: 4
William Shatner totally made Kirk the legend he is today. Chris Pine has done an excellent job amping that up. And since we haven't seen Pine go all TJ Hooper/Denny Crane, he hasn't lost points for goofiness. He just needs to be taller.
Total score: 23.5 out of 30.
79%! Yow! New Kirk is Han Solo's jock-carrier. Well, what'd ya expect- he's only had one movie to show his stuff. Maybe his score will go up in sequels...

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