Monday, December 07, 2009

Savor the Season- Don't Inhale the Holiday

People annoy me. I know that's not a very Christian way to be- especially at this time of year- but  I just can't seem to shake it.
Take for instance, just a few moments ago. On the elevator. I'm in the basement at work, waiting for an elevator to haul my butt back upstairs. Oh, sure, I took the stairs down, but gravity was working with me. I wanted to laugh in the face of Global Warmers and make a big carbon footprint and ride the electric elevator back to my point of origin.
Ding! The doors opened, and there's like 6 damned people in the elevator. None of whom step out. These lazy bastards not only couldn't take the stairs, but they couldn't be bothered to wait for an elevator going up. No they had to all crowd into the elevator going down- leaving no room for me to ride it up. They couldn't wait a few minutes for the next elevator.
It's shit like that that drives me crazy.
You'd think that at this time of year- the Christmas season- people could behave better. I mean, we are supposed to be celebrating the fact we don't have to burn offerings, do nothing on the Sabbath or otherwise follow Jewish tradition to stay out of Hell. Jesus Christ was born to offer mankind an easy way to live forever.
But no.
Instead of being grateful and celebrating Jesus' bithday, everyone has to rush around, with no damn manners, caring only about themselves. They steal parking spaces. They crowd aisles in stores. They're jerks on the phone. You know, I realize that's how you people are year-round, but could you for one f*cking month behave civilized?
This is the season for "Goodwill to men". When we are supposed to be neighborly and nice and enjoy  ourselves. People can do it at drunken New Year's Eve parties, so why not for the Christmas season?
I could see it if you didn't believe in Christ or Christmas. You know, if you didn't put lights on your house, or buy presents or otherwise celebrate the day. But when you do celebrate Christmas- even in your own, twisted, heathen way- why do you want it to be over so quick?
Why must people suck the holiday down, rushing around, as though they were gulping down breakfast on their way to work when running late?
Enjoy the holiday, you dumbasses. Take your time. Savor this time of year. Don't race through parking lots on your way to a discount. Don't stress. Just chill, and relax. Pretend you're a hippy or something.
Every year, the day after Christmas, my wife starts harping about taking down decorations. I counter that the Three Wisemen didn't travel across the frickin' world, throw some presents at Baby Jesus' feet and say "See ya later". No they stuck around, they celebrated. They weren't in any hurry to leave.
That same lesson should hold true for the whole month. Kids seem to grasp this simple concept. They love the whole christmas season. Every day of it. And since we all started out as kids, there's no reason why we can't continue that tradition.
So chew your holiday slower- it'll last longer.  

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