Monday, May 02, 2011

Movie Re-View: "INVASION U.S.A."

Tired of all the smut and slasher violence on TV these days? Turn back the clock and pop in something from yesteryear that might just be kinder and gentler for you and your kids...
While we may not be able to watch Osama Bin Laden get blown away, we can fulfill our terrorist-killing hunger by watching the Chuck Norris-classic, INVASION U.S.A.
Premiering in 1985, this Cannon Films action epic pitted ex-CIA Agent Matt Hunter (Norris) against a Soviet-engineered invasion of America by an army of mercenaries and terrorists from around the world. Explosions! Gun fights! Car Chases! Ass-kicking! Invasion U.S.A. had it all!
The film starts off the Coast of Florida, with a boat load of cuban refugees adrift. A Coast Guard cutter comes along but instead of saving the poor immigrants, machine guns them all straight to Davy Jones' locker. The movie quickly moves to a night time beach in Florida where refurbished WWII landing craft set down, pouring out an army of terrorists that load up into waiting vehicles and spread across the country, killing Americans one neighborhood at a time.
But fear not! Agent Hunter comes out of retirement from his Everglades home and unleashes a war of whoop ass on the invaders, culminating in their crushing defeat in a downtown Florida office building.
Only with some fast remote control work. In addition to cheesy kills, squibs and pyrotechnic explosions, Invasion U.S.A. does feature a brief visit to a titty bar, as Agent Hunter tracks down leads in his search for the invaders' leader. Floppy 80s boobies sure surprised me and were not in my memory of this awesome asskickfest, and were entirely inappropriate for kids. As soon as Chuck enters the bars, it's time to chapter skip past the hooters.
Aside from the boobage, Invasion U.S.A. is a very child appropriate film. Power Rangers has more violence, albeit slightly less graphic. And, Invasion U.S.A. teaches the very real lesson that the good guys always win- primarily because bad guys are such incredible morons.
OVERALL RATING: Both fists up on this great action movie- as long as you keep the remote control in hand!
Available on DVD, via and other online retailers. Good luck finding this gem in a local store.

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