Thursday, December 17, 2009

THOR'S DAY RANT: EGGROLLS FOR CHRISTMAS

I have been doing my best to keep my Christmas spirit, but you people are really trying my damned patience.
 
All the fast-driving, parking space-stealing, zombie-walking, rude m*therf***ers are really driving me over the edge. Then my damned computer at work crashed- Hard Drive wore out. Was able to save a bunch of data, but lost emails, address book, macros, etc. etc.
 
Can someone explain to me why you idiots race through parking lots like Mario F***ing Andretti, then wander and block the aisles of the stores like crippled zombies on fly paper?
 
And what happened to holding doors open for people? Giving money to the Salvation Army Bell Ringers?
 
In all my postal/induced rage, I have seen, one, ONE f***ing instance of people with some damned Christmas spirit. The folks at Chick Fil-A.
 
Yep, the kids (none of them appear to be out of high school) working our local Chick Fil-A are always peppy, friendly and polite. Unlike McDonald's, or even Dairy Queen, where "thank you" and "come again" are rarities, the Fil-A crew is always in a good mood. Year round.
 
That got me thinking.
 
Again, I am going to ask- why the hell can't you people have some f***ing civility around the holidays? Chick Fil-A has it year round. And they aren't the only ones. I've never been in a Chinese restaurant where I wasn't treated like the King of Siam. Why is it the Chinese and the Chicken-slingers can get it right, three-hundred-and-sixty-five-days a damn year, and the rest of you can't do it for one damn month? Or even the twelve days of Christmas?!
Clearly, you're all a bunch of self-centered pricks. You're so worried about Christmas turning out the way you want, about you not having to park in the back forty at the store, etc. etc. that you vent your rage on those around you at precisely the time of year when you are supposed to behave with civility.
 
F***ing disgraceful.
 
Have any of you dumbasses ever seen any of the twelve-plus "Christmas Carol" movies? They weren't an example of f***ing Christmas hauntings. It's the story of a sorry asshole who learns what Christmas is all about. Watch it. You'll learn something.
 
What a bunch of assholes. Too bad the Mexican Flu didn't sweep through the country and give people something to be grateful for (surviving it) in its wake. Then we might actually have a wave of National Goodwill.
 
I guess if I want any Christmas spirit outside of my home, I have to Eat More Chikin.
 
 

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