It's that time of year again, when Dad's get a special holiday all their own. I used to complain that Father's Day was a joke compared to Mother's Day- hidden on the back pages of newspapers, instead of plastered all over every piece of media known to man. But we dads have progressed a little.
Don't get me wrong- Mother's Day is still made much more of a fuss than Father's Day. I know "your mother carried you for nine months!". Well, my wife carried each of our kids for nine months, conveniently packed around her middle. What with fluids and all, I'm sure that was easily an extra 35 pounds. My 5 year old is now close to 60 pounds. And I have to carry her gigantic frame up the stairs almost daily when she falls asleep watching TV in the basement. When she was 2 or 3, I also carried her, and her older sister before her, around all the time. My back has suffered far more from the weight of the kids than my wife's ever did.
And what about the future? How many people call their mom up to fix their car, or do some odd job around the house? Nope, it's the dads that are Mr. Handyman-for-Life.
This year in particular, Father's Day is taking a hit- I saw a sales flyer for "Dads and Grads Day". Moms are supposed to shell out money for Dads and their kids who just graduated. WTF?!
If I weren't a dad, this kind of thing wouldn't bother me. My own dad was a humongous asshole far more interested in himself than me. But I am a dad, and I bust my ass for my kids on a daily basis. I don't really want to sit through hours and hours of Spongebob and iCarly every day. I shouldn't know the names of all the characters on "Wizards of Waverly Place". Nor should I know that Barbie is made in China, and which of her shoes came with which outfit. But I sacrifice for my kids, precisely because I want to be a good dad. So I really think I've earned a special day.
And I'm not the only one. There are a lot of dads out there that could use a heartfelt thanks- and not some stupid tie, or moronic grilling apron. Ever get clothes for Christmas? Not a good feeling. You know you wanted toys. Don't do the same to your dad- get him something he likes, that he will enjoy, that shows you spent a little frickin' time on it. Gift cards are for chicks. Dads don't like to shop.