Thursday, May 20, 2010

"Artificial Life", My Ass

So now we have some arrogant scientists who think they have artificially created life:

"The researchers constructed a bacterium's "genetic software" and transplanted it into a host cell. "

And where, pray tell, did the host cell come from? Did they mix it up from their junior science kits? No. They used a pre-existing cell, overwrote it's DNA with something else.

They didn't create shit. They changed something.

If I glue fur to a pig, and put a dog collar on it, have I created the first synthetic dog?

What if I hollow out a coconut and fill it with mashed potatoes? Is that an artificial potato?

Their "artificial life" is no more groundbreaking than a boob job.

Why does this make me angry? Because so many scientists these days spout out nonsense and expect us ignorant peasants to believe it unconditionally. They're worse than tele-evengelists. Science is supposed to be it's own truth- not a bending of the facts to suit someone's ulterior motives.

The Church of Science has gotten way too far out of hand. Hell, even the Mythbusters think of themselves as all-powerful "scientists". Okay, maybe not all of them, but try reading Adam Savage's Twitter feed sometime. Adam, you have a great show, and I truly, honestly, from the bottom of my heart thank you for helping the Star Wars movie franchise continue along, but, dude. You're not a scientist. If blowing sh*t up and talking about it makes you a scientist, then I'm f*cking Albert Einstein. See, me and firecrackers, we did some heinous, dangerous sh*t when I was a kid. Trust me on this. (I know- firecrackers don't compare to C4 obliterating concrete mixers, but you have a whole production company and experts helping you. I was a frickin' kid and engineered my own experiments with the sole help of me, myself and I.)

But I digress.

My point is, science shouldn't be treated like some secret club. Nor should scientists arrogantly think you have to have credentials to understand anything. Scientists shouldn't think they are better, and then lie to us ignorant rubes to make themselves more God-like. And that's just what these pricks have done in Maryland. Lied about what they've done. They didn't create, they changed. The whole thing is disingenuous.

Fellas, until you can mix up a living creature, completely from scratch, you haven't created artificial sh*t. Go back to trying to clone Mammoths, so I can have me some Fred Flintstone-sized steaks, you pompous asses.

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