Monday, January 04, 2010

Netflix Review: "The Man from Earth"

Okay, avoid this movie. I know it's free with your Netflix service, but it sucks ass.
This movie was so offensive, and boring, that I am tempted to cancel my Netflix membership because of it. I mean, we obnly get so many flicks to watch instantly at any given time, and THIS is one of the shitty choices offered?
Why am I so consumed over this?
The premise is that this college professor has decided to move on after 10 years. His friends wonder why and he confides in them that he is a kind of immortal- a caveman who has roamed the earth for 14,000 years. He's moving now because people have begun to notice he never ages. Now right there, I should have seen the warning bells. Cavemen are inherently Darwinistic, and anti-Christian.
As the film progresses- at one location (Caveboy's home)- much like a friggin play, with talkey, talkey, talk-talk, caveboy eventually reveals that he studied with the Bhudda. Then later he goes on to say that he was the bhudda. Then he later reluctantly reveals he was Jesus, faked his death (with Yogi-like powers of slowing the heart) but was accidentally discovered as he tried to sneak away.
I turned it off at that point. It was bad enough I had to sit through all that Picardian dribble (there's a Star Trek actor in the movie, so I thought that an appropriate slam on the never-ending dialogue), but sacrilege too?
If you want to watch an movie about Immortals secretly living among us, "Highlander" is way better. There's ass-kicking, sword fighting and no slams on Christianity (other of course than the whole immortals plot). Heck, I'll even confide that while the sountrack is by some Queer, it rocks.
Terrible, terrible film, based on what is clearly a terrible book, that is full of plot holes that I will not dignify with a prolonged discussion.
Just prepare to be offended if you see this stinker. I'd say the author could go to Hell, but since he apparently wrote this shitter on his deathbed, well, I'm sure he's already there.


Carmen said...

I guess you are just a myopic religious person. If you were confident in your "God" you wont be offended by this since it is just a movie.
Also someone so shallow wont understand the deep meaning of this film.
I am amazed on how christians are so self centered insecure people than anything that stand up of their beliefs is an offense. You better go back to school to educate yourself or better yet, tell your parents how bad job they did educating you with such a minimal mindset so they can fix their mistake.

Troglodad said...

Carmen... why did you feel compelled to comment on this two years, eight months after In wrote it? Did it take that long to come up with a response?

Yes, I do have vision problems. I'm nearsighted. Thanks for mocking that disability. Nice way to show how hateful you aetheists are. Maybe if you had Jesus in your life you'd be happier.

Sorry... I'm assuming you're a heathen. Maybe you're a koran-thumping Muslim. Which would really be ironic... you blast me for defending my religion while you and your ilk issue fat was on people who mock your so-called prophet.

What's really odd is that your comment sat awaiting moderation for three months before I noticed it. Must be God's will I see it today on Thanksgiving.

Well, anyway, thanks for visiting this dusty corner of the internet. Coincidentally I'll soon be blogging here again. So I reckon you're ahead of the curve or can see the future or something.

Can I have some lucky lottery numbers?

Have a Happy Thanksgiving! Peace out, homey!